Personal Column: Gucci’s Instruction Manual


Written by: Femke Marcar

My Gucci is a Frenchie with her own instruction manual. She refuses to walk when it’s raining in order to keep her beautiful coat dry. She also refuses to go on the grass field in front of the house but prefers one that is further away. A quick walk at night is no option for this Lady. 


She’d rather drag me to the grass field a few blocks away where it’s so dark that I can’t see if I did step on dog poo and where three huge dogs have already scared me to bits  (I suspect they’re descendants from dinosaurs or something). Anyhow I’m better off giving her what she wants.

If Gucci has a sleepover at my family’s of friend’s place, we always have to go through a list of some peculiarities. “If she refuses to poop/pee while outside, go find a molehill. Then she’ll be done in no time.” Or “if she refuses to to eat her food, sprinkle some olive oil on it.” Oh well, I’m so used to it that it’s become my second nature to deal with this stubborn cutie.

Not everyone, however, understands this. The other day I was walking her on the block, and Gucci refused to take another step. If she decides to stop moving then I have better chance of moving mountains that to make her walk because she simply won’t do it. That’s the way she is. She sat down and no matter how hard I tried, I simply didn’t stand a chance. I was in a hurry so I had to carry her home but carrying a 30 pound dog for two miles was quite a challenge to say the least for someone as small as me. The block was doable but then it became harder and harder. All I could do now was to drag her by her leash back home. One very proper-looking gentleman felt the need to comment on it: “You can see she doesn’t want to go” and then he added “wouldn’t it be better to carry her?” Oohhh… how he drove me mad. I don’t like it at all when people meddle. They always think they know better. I’m in a hurry, I have to go to work, I have already carried her 100 yards, I begged her and dragged her. I’m tired, sweaty and grumpy. “Keep your comments to yourself won’t you” or I wanted to shout out  “If you think its so easy, why don’t you do it then you ****!” but such comments coming from a small lady in high heels aren’t very chic. In the end, I pretended not to hear him and kept quiet, However, the bystander didn’t seem to appreciate my silence. He shouted “another floozy with a manual”. And oh how he smiled at his own remark. If only he knew…

Would you also like to write a personal column about your French bulldog? Mail to Put “column” in the subject line.